I grouped these two together because they are the movies that I thought would crash and burn, and yet have somehow managed to thwart nature's plans. Sometimes, I feel as if I am hearing or seeing things completely different from everyone else, and these are the uncool movies that remind of this occasional phenomenon. Am I really truly alone?
Tron and Avatar both have great technology and animation softwares behind them, I'll admit to that much. Avatar's phosphorescent plants were pretty interesting and pretty, and Tron guys got bikes and fake, towering cities and all that. Although I think Avatar started looking like the Sims game when Jake SOO-LEE and his lady friend started getting frisky, and it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what that train-like transportation vehicle was in Tron, never mind that they were riding on it :/
Let me refresh your memory about Avatar. It was that really predictable movie with just the right combination of hot people, audience-pleasing "adventure," pretty scenery to distract from any shortcomings in other aspects of the film, and a few convenient deaths that remind you not only that this stuff is for reals, but also to make it easier to make a sequel with new hot people in it. It was all too obvious from the start—the only attractive female in the alien village is obviously the "movie girlfriend." Jake the noob is obviously going to be the one who miraculously conquers the head honcho of the alien dragon animals. Grace's death is determined basically the instant she is wounded. And finally, it's blatantly obvious that Jake is going to survive the change into a blue person—in fact, the only thing about the movie that dumbfounded me at all was the fact that there were not in fact any twists to the plot. Everything is so blatantly obvious and painfully transparent you just want to hit yourself and cry in a corner for having wasted your time.
What's funny is that none of this actually was born in James Cameron's head. Most people have already made the connection between this movie and Dances With Wolves, but a plot was apparently not enough for Cameron to make a movie out of. He got on very tricky terms with Russia for stealing the plot setting from a Russian book series published in the 60's. In this series, a bunch of human-like aliens called the "Nave" inhabited planet Pandora in the 22nd century.... need I say any more? As if that's not enough, I noticed he stole the helicopter-like Viper planes from the Incredibles—he didn't even bother to change the name. He's also accused for plagiarism of a book called Call Me Joe. Look—if Avatar is a tribute to all these past works... just say it? At least say, "Inspired by...." or "Based on...." If you take all the credit for what's unmistakably NOT YOURS, it just makes you sound like a total toolbox.
Tron didn't plagiarize anything as far as I could tell, thank heavens. I guess it was just really stale. Maybe it was that they tried to make absolutely everything exciting and amazing, or maybe it was just that none of it was any good in the first place. Either way, I really didn't get it at all. The girl in it also freaked me out, and I had to laugh when the dude's hair got all screwed up at the end. It was refreshing to see the vegetation and the "real world" after watching people toil in computer land, but most people would feel that way if they felt like they were trapped in a cellar for two long, painful hours. That's how I felt. I also kept thinking about how much my butt hurt from sitting on it, which is something I really only think of during the most boring math classes. It was just... stale. Disappointing. The music was fabulous, but I think the credit for that goes mostly to the band.
Am I the only one who feels this way? If I am... I'm really scared.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
I'm not sure this counts as a "movie" since it's 40 minutes long and iTunes offers it in TV episodes, but it is certainly a wonderful film that somehow manages to relate to my life in a strange sort of way. And it's got Neil Patrick Harris.
I don't want to sound like a total whiner, but these past few days, weeks, months, what have you, have been so utterly and violently dull I can't even stand it. But just like Neil Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible—I wonder if he has a first name. I'm sure it would be equally exotic, like Ricardo), I feel terribly judged by the masses and yet blessed by my dear friends, and all I'm trying to do right now is work through my greater dilemmas (SATs, AP testing, etc. I'm guessing that parallels to NPH's heist plannings and wonderflonium quest). Further, I'm without The One I Love, and all I can do is watch or occasionally talk to or watch other people talk to my dear equivalent of Penny. But the man version. I know that the person you have a crush on shouldn't be the one determining whether your life is dreary or not, and I couldn't agree more, but apparently, agreeing just isn't enough.
Of course, my life is perfectly lively and I laugh or smile or something every day, and I've got things whizzing by in flying colors and all that jazz. Maybe you've got that feeling before, too, though. It's like I've got this one huge modern art painting with so many different colors so that in some ways, it looks vibrant and beautiful and artistic and fancy, but in other ways, the canvas seems to have been painted a really ugly, monotone gray. In so many aspects, I'm having the time of my life, and in so many other aspects, I feel like a total whiner. Am I alone on this? Have I struck my mid-life crisis a bit on the early side?
Either way, that's almost how Dr. Horrible makes me feel. It makes me smile and laugh out loud (In "Brand New Day," I laughed really loud when NPH says "All the birds are singing that YOU'RE GOING TO DIE"). The fact that those three random cowboys come out and narrate Bad Horse (the head honcho)'s tongue-twisting, rhyming letter through song is very charming and comical (notice they also end the narrated phone call with "signed, Bad Horse"). NPH's incredible acting in general as well as his believability as this nerdy, awkward, painfully average super-villain is tickling, and Hammer Man is one of the few movie tools I can actually laugh at without being bitter. Even Penny, so calm and gentle, is comical herself, stumbling out of the garbage pile with only love in her eyes and freaking NPH out as she sneaks up on him to ask for signatures. I don't want to give it all away, but just as the ironic title suggests, this story is a beautifully written comedy with distinguished characters and an exceptional cast. All of this together makes such a colorful, enjoyable masterpiece.
If you haven't seen this movie, stop right there; there is definitely a spoiler coming up and I would so hate to ruin this for you. Okay, are you ready?
This movie's down side is most certainly the end. We are not granted a happy ending as one might expect, and the silliness all twists into a horrible, astounding, shocking conclusion that's quite nerve-racking, to say the least. Not to mention the whole thing with Penny being in love with the biggest tool known to man, and the fact that she still loves him even after she has seen his egotistical side. (People have layers–it's like there's a deeper layer that's completely different from what's on the surface. And then sometimes, there's even a third layer that thwarts the second one and is actually exactly like the top surface one.)
Recently, I've been bobbing up and down through all these layers that apparently my life has as well—the dull academic one, the one that yearns for The One I Love, and the happy one that sometimes seems so out of place that it sometimes feels like it's not even real.
That sounds so emo, but it's so true. Just like how you're not sure what to do at the end after Penny dies and NPH seems to transition into a being torn and decimated by love and consumed by the dark side. I have no idea what to make of it all, except sit there with my mouth open and take it all in.
I don't want to sound like a total whiner, but these past few days, weeks, months, what have you, have been so utterly and violently dull I can't even stand it. But just like Neil Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible—I wonder if he has a first name. I'm sure it would be equally exotic, like Ricardo), I feel terribly judged by the masses and yet blessed by my dear friends, and all I'm trying to do right now is work through my greater dilemmas (SATs, AP testing, etc. I'm guessing that parallels to NPH's heist plannings and wonderflonium quest). Further, I'm without The One I Love, and all I can do is watch or occasionally talk to or watch other people talk to my dear equivalent of Penny. But the man version. I know that the person you have a crush on shouldn't be the one determining whether your life is dreary or not, and I couldn't agree more, but apparently, agreeing just isn't enough.
Of course, my life is perfectly lively and I laugh or smile or something every day, and I've got things whizzing by in flying colors and all that jazz. Maybe you've got that feeling before, too, though. It's like I've got this one huge modern art painting with so many different colors so that in some ways, it looks vibrant and beautiful and artistic and fancy, but in other ways, the canvas seems to have been painted a really ugly, monotone gray. In so many aspects, I'm having the time of my life, and in so many other aspects, I feel like a total whiner. Am I alone on this? Have I struck my mid-life crisis a bit on the early side?
Either way, that's almost how Dr. Horrible makes me feel. It makes me smile and laugh out loud (In "Brand New Day," I laughed really loud when NPH says "All the birds are singing that YOU'RE GOING TO DIE"). The fact that those three random cowboys come out and narrate Bad Horse (the head honcho)'s tongue-twisting, rhyming letter through song is very charming and comical (notice they also end the narrated phone call with "signed, Bad Horse"). NPH's incredible acting in general as well as his believability as this nerdy, awkward, painfully average super-villain is tickling, and Hammer Man is one of the few movie tools I can actually laugh at without being bitter. Even Penny, so calm and gentle, is comical herself, stumbling out of the garbage pile with only love in her eyes and freaking NPH out as she sneaks up on him to ask for signatures. I don't want to give it all away, but just as the ironic title suggests, this story is a beautifully written comedy with distinguished characters and an exceptional cast. All of this together makes such a colorful, enjoyable masterpiece.
If you haven't seen this movie, stop right there; there is definitely a spoiler coming up and I would so hate to ruin this for you. Okay, are you ready?
This movie's down side is most certainly the end. We are not granted a happy ending as one might expect, and the silliness all twists into a horrible, astounding, shocking conclusion that's quite nerve-racking, to say the least. Not to mention the whole thing with Penny being in love with the biggest tool known to man, and the fact that she still loves him even after she has seen his egotistical side. (People have layers–it's like there's a deeper layer that's completely different from what's on the surface. And then sometimes, there's even a third layer that thwarts the second one and is actually exactly like the top surface one.)
Recently, I've been bobbing up and down through all these layers that apparently my life has as well—the dull academic one, the one that yearns for The One I Love, and the happy one that sometimes seems so out of place that it sometimes feels like it's not even real.
That sounds so emo, but it's so true. Just like how you're not sure what to do at the end after Penny dies and NPH seems to transition into a being torn and decimated by love and consumed by the dark side. I have no idea what to make of it all, except sit there with my mouth open and take it all in.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Inception
What better time than the day before final exams to blog?
The other day I had the strangest dream. Unfortunately, it wasn't about me subtly getting exposed to impulses that would eventually cause me to break up my father's empire. I was sitting in an empty breakfast restaurant that for some reason had a bar, and the television screen (I think) was broadcasting part of the cast list for the (real) musical for my school, Beauty and the Beast. However, the names had all changed, and I remember seeing that the beast was now played by "the tough." That's what it said on the cast list, anyway, and I remember that because I was wondering if that was the guy's real name, or if it was his nick name or something. I walked out of that restaurant just as a few nuns and random soccer moms walked in. I went to a nearby grocery market because I was at a strip mall, and then some of the workers there told me to clean a cigar off the ground. I got in a fight because I refused, and then my dad came to pick me up.
Next thing I knew, I was waking up. Everything around me was orangish, as if I was looking through those weird orange glasses. I also noticed that I was wearing my PJ shorts. I took a shower, and then I changed, and I was about to take another shower when I remembered I had just taken one. And then my dad came in and helped me clean my room.
NEXT thing I knew, I was waking up again. This time, everything was bluish. I also noticed that I was wearing my long PJ pants, and then I realized that that last thing was just a dream.
So that's how I got to Inception. According to this phenomenal yet Hollywood-made movie, I may have had a two-level dream, which is so cool. I've been scouring my memory to see if I saw anyone like Leonardo DiCaprio or Ellen Page in there, but I'm sure I would have noticed If I'd seen a foxy forty year old man or a badass hipster girl wandering the aisles, pretending to look for a box of cereal or something. But we all know they were after something more....
You know, I've seen this movie three times, which doesn't occur very often, even for a Leo DiCaprio film. I rarely feel an impulse to watch anything twice let alone three times. Sure, it was a lot to swallow and a lot of the time was spent explaining why this movie makes sense, but if you think about it, it does make sense, and it all seems to sort of work. The soundtrack was absolutely brilliant; Hans Zimmer, the guy who thought of that catchy tune in Pirates of the Carribbean (the only other movies I've seen at least three times; yeah, I know they're stupid), amazes us—well, me, at least—once again, this time with a poignant 4-note piano melody on repeat that somehow never gets old and is just as poignant each time you hear it. Even the actors are ridiculously believable, everyone slightly similar in a realistic way as business partners and good friends tend to be, but different enough that each has his/her own distinct character. Silly jokes slide in here and there, but not enough to take away from the intensity of the plot and the momentum of the movie. Also, despite the fact that it's a Hollywood action film, the deep, meaningful stuff isn't half-assed at all, which is so uncommon and rare nowadays (i.e. Predators, Avatar, The Losers...).
Most of all, that gravity scene just blows my mind. First, it's just that everything is shifting, so the long hallway suddenly becomes a twenty-foot vertical elevator shaft (one guy who was walking down the hallway actually falls to his death, slamming into the wall at the other end of the hall). And then suddenly they're all floating, but not like a Peter Pan, fairy-dust-happiness-and-a-harness type of floating. HOW ON EARTH DID THEY DO THAT??? It just blows my mind.
Well anyway, if you haven't seen this masterpiece, it is definitely worth watching. Subtitles help, of course, but you'll get the gist if you're paying attention. Those of you who have already seen it, you can get your very own spinny top to make sure you're awake. I've got one! It's one of the most effective distractions anyone could ask for—it's just really fun to spin again and again—and I also recommend it if figuring out whether you're dreaming or not is a real issue for you. Get one here.
Now, if you've got a spiffy new iPhone/iTouch, you can also get an Inception app (I've got this one too). This is entirely free, and it takes the sounds around you and twists them to make you feel like you're dreaming. There are many different types of dreams (i.e. Quiet Dream, Traveling Dream, Limbo, Reward Dream, etc), and they all change the noises differently so that you have different dream experiences for each. Some have part of the soundtrack incorporated into them. Unfortunately, this only works with earphones that have the mic because it needs to hear the noises around you, but if you've got one, this app is so very addicting and disorienting and strange.
See you next movie!
The other day I had the strangest dream. Unfortunately, it wasn't about me subtly getting exposed to impulses that would eventually cause me to break up my father's empire. I was sitting in an empty breakfast restaurant that for some reason had a bar, and the television screen (I think) was broadcasting part of the cast list for the (real) musical for my school, Beauty and the Beast. However, the names had all changed, and I remember seeing that the beast was now played by "the tough." That's what it said on the cast list, anyway, and I remember that because I was wondering if that was the guy's real name, or if it was his nick name or something. I walked out of that restaurant just as a few nuns and random soccer moms walked in. I went to a nearby grocery market because I was at a strip mall, and then some of the workers there told me to clean a cigar off the ground. I got in a fight because I refused, and then my dad came to pick me up.
Next thing I knew, I was waking up. Everything around me was orangish, as if I was looking through those weird orange glasses. I also noticed that I was wearing my PJ shorts. I took a shower, and then I changed, and I was about to take another shower when I remembered I had just taken one. And then my dad came in and helped me clean my room.
NEXT thing I knew, I was waking up again. This time, everything was bluish. I also noticed that I was wearing my long PJ pants, and then I realized that that last thing was just a dream.
So that's how I got to Inception. According to this phenomenal yet Hollywood-made movie, I may have had a two-level dream, which is so cool. I've been scouring my memory to see if I saw anyone like Leonardo DiCaprio or Ellen Page in there, but I'm sure I would have noticed If I'd seen a foxy forty year old man or a badass hipster girl wandering the aisles, pretending to look for a box of cereal or something. But we all know they were after something more....
You know, I've seen this movie three times, which doesn't occur very often, even for a Leo DiCaprio film. I rarely feel an impulse to watch anything twice let alone three times. Sure, it was a lot to swallow and a lot of the time was spent explaining why this movie makes sense, but if you think about it, it does make sense, and it all seems to sort of work. The soundtrack was absolutely brilliant; Hans Zimmer, the guy who thought of that catchy tune in Pirates of the Carribbean (the only other movies I've seen at least three times; yeah, I know they're stupid), amazes us—well, me, at least—once again, this time with a poignant 4-note piano melody on repeat that somehow never gets old and is just as poignant each time you hear it. Even the actors are ridiculously believable, everyone slightly similar in a realistic way as business partners and good friends tend to be, but different enough that each has his/her own distinct character. Silly jokes slide in here and there, but not enough to take away from the intensity of the plot and the momentum of the movie. Also, despite the fact that it's a Hollywood action film, the deep, meaningful stuff isn't half-assed at all, which is so uncommon and rare nowadays (i.e. Predators, Avatar, The Losers...).
Most of all, that gravity scene just blows my mind. First, it's just that everything is shifting, so the long hallway suddenly becomes a twenty-foot vertical elevator shaft (one guy who was walking down the hallway actually falls to his death, slamming into the wall at the other end of the hall). And then suddenly they're all floating, but not like a Peter Pan, fairy-dust-happiness-and-a-harness type of floating. HOW ON EARTH DID THEY DO THAT??? It just blows my mind.
Well anyway, if you haven't seen this masterpiece, it is definitely worth watching. Subtitles help, of course, but you'll get the gist if you're paying attention. Those of you who have already seen it, you can get your very own spinny top to make sure you're awake. I've got one! It's one of the most effective distractions anyone could ask for—it's just really fun to spin again and again—and I also recommend it if figuring out whether you're dreaming or not is a real issue for you. Get one here.
Now, if you've got a spiffy new iPhone/iTouch, you can also get an Inception app (I've got this one too). This is entirely free, and it takes the sounds around you and twists them to make you feel like you're dreaming. There are many different types of dreams (i.e. Quiet Dream, Traveling Dream, Limbo, Reward Dream, etc), and they all change the noises differently so that you have different dream experiences for each. Some have part of the soundtrack incorporated into them. Unfortunately, this only works with earphones that have the mic because it needs to hear the noises around you, but if you've got one, this app is so very addicting and disorienting and strange.
See you next movie!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Movies are Pretty Cool
I might as well start by saying that I am yet another rambunctious teen with a whole lot of angsty things to say about the world, and that I apparently feel the need to write a blog and get my thoughts out there. This probably owes itself to the fact that there are a lot of people around me that I don't understand. I'm glad I don't understand a lot of them, of course, but that doesn't mean they don't frustrate me anyway.
Movies are like my escape. They take my mind off of the present and give me a way to think about something other than all those darned people who confuse me daily. Some of them might weasel into my thoughts, of course, like a guy I'm crushing on or a teacher who really sets me on edge, but soon enough, I'm back inside the movie, far away from my troubles.
I'm not exactly sure how this blog will come into being—probably as some kind of mind-boggling, ferocious hybrid between my ranting and movie reviews—but I've got high hopes for this one.
Movies are like my escape. They take my mind off of the present and give me a way to think about something other than all those darned people who confuse me daily. Some of them might weasel into my thoughts, of course, like a guy I'm crushing on or a teacher who really sets me on edge, but soon enough, I'm back inside the movie, far away from my troubles.
I'm not exactly sure how this blog will come into being—probably as some kind of mind-boggling, ferocious hybrid between my ranting and movie reviews—but I've got high hopes for this one.
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